The Reluctant Saul

May 2, 2009

Today's Reading: 1 Samuel 10-11 and Psalms 11-12

So here’s the deal. A guy learns that he is about to be king, and what does he do? He goes and tells everyone…that he finds the donkeys that he was looking for.

Not only that, when it comes time to crown Mr. King, Mr. Saul is hiding amongst the baggage. Man, talk about a guy with excess baggage! Is this where we got the term? Probably not, because honestly, it was kind of a nineties saying. Now I think we just say “he’s got issues”.

Saul apparently had a lot of them, and it isn’t really explained why he feared the crown. I heard that there are some people who are “afraid of their own success”. I’m not really certain what that means. I mean, why be afraid of that which you seek after.

But this isn’t like an actor who would be afraid of the Academy Award. I would imagine that Saul was afraid of what would happen when he became king. I mean, if someone were to contact me and say that I just became president, I probably wouldn’t be thinking about the perks that would come with the job.

I would probably think about: “Oh crap, with this great power is going to come great responsibility, I just know it. I am so screwed.”

I’m assuming that Saul was at least a bit smart, but he seems a bit cowardly if you ask me. Then he gets all Spirited and lets loose, kicking some major butt. I can’t help but wonder what sort of transformation had to occur to get that going on.

This brings me to realization that there are really no heroes, honestly. That is, the idea of a hero who does really super-cool things and never feels fear. The truth is, everyone feels fear. I suppose that continuous exposure into perilous situations could create a feeling of apathy toward them. This could definitely explain how cops and firemen could rush toward the burning Twin Towers.

Even then, there has got to be a time when fear had to be planted, and maybe take root. I suppose we all like the story of when the Cowardly Lion has the courage to face the Wicked Witch. I suppose this is all of us, trying to conquer all of our fears as we go through life, facing new responsibilities and terrible things.

In other words, who cares about what terrible things we are going to face? If we were less concerned with what scares us and more concerned about what is our responsibility, then it wouldn’t matter.