Saul's Resignation Letter

February 21, 2009

Today's Reading: Leviticus 14-15 and Acts 9

Dear Priests,

Yesterday was business as usual. I can’t believe that it took them that long to stone that Stephen guy. Hard to believe he died forgiving us. I actually know why.

By the way, I don’t know who stuck me on coat duty. Just to let you know, I got bored and rifled through their pockets of the priests for some loose change. I found thirty pieces of silver. You really need to go to the bank more often.

Anyway, I followed my lead from the letters I received from those Christ-followers in Damascus. While I was on the road, a light appeared before me. It was like the sun had exploded in my eyes.

I couldn’t see for a while, and then I heard a voice saying “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”

I asked him “who are you, Lord”. You will note the last word that I used. Imagine my shock when the voice revealed Himself to be Jesus. Yes, those Christ guys were right after all. By the way, he’s really ticked that we’ve been persecuting his followers.

Anyway, I doing remember seeing anything after that, because I went blind. My men, of whom I actually learned their names, accompanied me to a house of Judas on a street called straight. I’m glad it was straight, because it made it easier for me to find the bathroom.

But that’s neither here nor there. I decided not to eat or drink, because I lost my appetite, or something. After a while, I saw visions of a man named Ananias who came and laid his hands on me. Don’t ask me how I knew his name was Ananias. Sure enough, Ananias came in three days later, and laid his hands on me, and I could see. These scales fell out of my eyes. I have enclosed them with this letter.

I have written this letter to tell you that I am no longer going to work for you anymore. And I don’t mean that I resign, but I am completely playing for the other team. So you can just take this job and stick it where the Glory of God don’t shine.

I realize that you will want to kill me after you read this, so here is my response: bring it on. Believe me, I was the guy who used to do this. And if that guy finds me, I’m going to tell him what I’m telling you now: you are on the wrong side.

Sincerely,

The Breakfast Club